This Weeks Sponsor
Welcome to The Wellness Rewind, your go-to weekly newsletter for practical tips and inspiration to create a balanced, mindful, and energized life. Forwarded this by a friend? Subscribe here to join the community and never miss out!
If your routines have been feeling a little off lately—like you’re doing all the “right” wellness things but still feel wired, tired, or weirdly over it—this one’s for you.
This week, we’re talking about the subtle pressure to look like you’ve got your life together through self-care rituals that are secretly draining the life out of you. From aesthetic night routines that take an hour to cold plunges you secretly hate… we’re naming the habits that need a hard pause.
And spoiler: sometimes the most powerful self-care move is doing less—on purpose.
Let’s rewind the noise and find what actually works.
What's Inside
Things That Look Like Self-Care But Secretly Burn You Out
When the wellness aesthetic becomes a performance.
Let’s be real, you lit your candle, took your magnesium, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and journaled about gratitude. But somehow… you still feel fried.
If you’ve ever left a self-care session more tired than when you started, you’re not alone. A lot of “wellness” out there is just productivity in better packaging—same hustle, new outfit.
And we fall for it, especially those of us who love being the organized one, the high-functioning one, the glowier-than-thou one.
So this week, we’re pulling back the curtain on habits that look healthy but might be messing with your nervous system. No shame. No “burn it all down” energy. Just a vibe check for your rituals.
🧩 When Self-Care Starts Draining You Instead of Refueling You
So why does self-care—something that’s supposed to nourish us—so often leave us feeling depleted? It usually starts when we confuse performing wellness with actually living it. In a world where we’re constantly fed aesthetic rituals, curated routines, and “must-have” tools, it’s easy to internalize the idea that more self-care equals better self. But here's the problem: when you treat self-care like a productivity system—something to track, optimize, and show off, it stops being care. It becomes labor. Emotional admin. Another checkbox in your already packed calendar.
We start to feel that drain when we prioritize what looks like self-care over what actually feels restorative. You wake up early to meditate even though you needed sleep. You journal because someone said it builds discipline, but you resent it. You do the lymphatic drainage, the supplements, the 7-step skincare, not because you want to—but because skipping them makes you feel like you’re slacking. That quiet, invisible guilt? That’s the drain. And it builds.
But here’s the thing: it’s not supposed to feel this way. True self-care is not about meeting some invisible standard. It’s not about how “clean” or aesthetic your habits are. It’s about building a relationship with yourself that feels supportive and sustainable. It should complement your life—not clash with it. When done right, self-care gives more than it takes. It refuels your mental bandwidth, supports your nervous system, and fits seamlessly into the rhythm of your life—not the highlight reel.
So how do you know what’s working and what’s not? That’s where a self-care audit comes in. It doesn’t mean you throw your routines out the window. It means getting honest. Start by asking:
Does this ritual actually make me feel better, or just “better about myself” because I did it?
Am I doing this out of intention or out of guilt?
Would I still do this if no one ever saw it?
That internal check-in is everything. Because self-care that doesn’t restore you—physically, emotionally, or mentally—isn’t really self-care. It’s just another demand on your energy, dressed up in pastel packaging.
At its core, self-care should feel like an anchor, not an obligation. Something that supports the life you already live, not something that requires you to rewire it entirely. And the most sustainable routines? They’re often the simplest. The ones that leave room to breathe, to pivot, to be a person.
🚩 The Self-Care Audit
Let’s do a little red flag/green flag moment, shall we?
1. Waking up at 6am “for peace” when you’re running on 5 hours of sleep
🚩 You’re exhausted but still forcing sunrise Pilates to feel “disciplined.”
✅ You’re adjusting your routine based on how your body feels—6am sometimes, 8am when needed, and that’s okay.
2. Trying 4 new supplements because TikTok said your gut needs it
🚩 You don’t know what half of them do, but the packaging is cute and you want results.
✅ You get labs done or talk to someone who knows their stuff, then choose 1-2 core supplements that support your actual needs.
3. Doing lymphatic drainage, Gua Sha, dry brushing, red light therapy... every day
🚩 Your “night routine” takes an hour and makes you more stressed than skipping it.
✅ You treat your rituals like a playlist—curated based on how you’re feeling, not what the internet told you to do every single day.
4. Meal prepping “clean” lunches you secretly hate
🚩 You’re eating what you think is healthy but feel drained, bored, and bloated by day three.
✅ You’re focusing on food that feels nourishing and satisfying (yes, carbs included).
5. Tracking your habits to the point of obsession
🚩 You miss one checkbox on your habit tracker and spiral into “I ruined the streak.”
✅ You use tracking as feedback, not punishment—and know when to zoom out.
🎧 5 Podcasts to Actually Make You Feel Something This Week
Not every reset requires a green juice and a 10-step routine. Sometimes you just need the right podcast to shake things up, make you giggle, or make you rethink your relationship with therapy, men, or ravioli. Here’s what we’re queuing up this week:
1. The Peter Attia Drive – Ep. 355: Skincare Strategies, the Science of Facial Aging, and Cosmetic‑Intervention Guidance
Deep-dive with Tanuj Nakra, M.D. & Suzan Obagi, M.D. on the biological and psychological lights and shadows of facial aging—and when cosmetic care supports self-respect, not societal pressure. 🎧 Listen here →
2. Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky – Ep. 21: Savannah Guthrie
Monica Lewinsky sits down with Today host Savannah Guthrie—talking ambition, grief, faith, and the power of vulnerability (without the fluff). Some real talk on how healing feels in public. 🎧 Listen here →
3. Giggly Squad – Giggling About Therapy, Retirement, and Ravioli
Host Hannah Berner and Paige DeSorbo embrace chaos and carbs—chatting therapy, potential retirement plans, and yes… ravioli. It’s messy, it’s real, and it’s the self-care we didn’t know we needed. 🎧 Listen here →
4. Boy Problems with Liz Plank – "Scott Galloway Gets Real About Romance, Masculinity, and the Manosphere"
Wildly insightful. Galloway brings the heat on dating apps, gender dynamics, and why modern love feels... off. No fluff, just real talk.
🎧 Listen here →
5. Berner Phone – Ep. 98: "It Shouldn’t Be Awkward (Part 2)"
Tender, funny, and low-key profound (okay, not profound just funny!)
🎧 Listen here →
🔁 Your Turn
Journal Prompt (For When You’re “Wellness-Tired”)
What wellness habit am I doing for performance—not peace?
Write it down. Be honest. Ask yourself:
Am I doing this because I genuinely enjoy it?
Or because it looks like something a “healthy” person does?
What would my routine look like if no one ever saw it?
Hit reply and tell me what rest actually looked like for you. You can also tag @wellnessbum or @valeriealvarez on Threads. We’ll feature your responses in next week’s “Rewind Crew Writes In.”
📬 Rewind Crew Writes In
A few submissions from gathered from weeks past on self-care:
“I was forcing cold showers every morning because I heard they were ‘good for my nervous system.’ Turns out, I hated it.” — Janelle, Seattle, WA
“I journaled for 45 days straight. It helped me process... but also made me spiral some days. Now I write when I want to, not when I ‘should.’” — Marcus, Austin, TX
“I bought 3 types of greens powder and realized I don’t even like smoothies. Water is fine.” — Sierra, Brooklyn, NY
“Group fitness used to hype me up. Lately it just overstimulates me. I’m in my solo-walk era and it feels better.” — Alyssa, Chicago, IL
Glow Smarter, Not Harder
Skincare that actually fits your life—not the other way around. Root + Renew is clean, effective, and made for high-functioning humans who want more glow, less noise. No 12-step routines, just the essentials.
Use code SUMMERSKIN20 for 20% off everything. Your skin deserves a reset, too.
🛒 Shop the collection →
Here's your permission to:
Sleep in on purpose
Skip the skincare routine once in a while
Ditch what drains—even if it’s trending
Redefine what’s “productive” to include rest
Remember: Self-care is supposed to restore you. Not prove a point. So if your rituals are starting to feel like a performance… It’s time to rewrite the script.
Until next Sunday!
Valerie
@valeriealvarez
P.S. Was this issue a vibe? Forward it to someone who could use this.