Lost Your Spark? The One-Question Exercise to Reignite Your Drive

Have you ever woken up and thought, Wait, is this it? Not in a dramatic, existential crisis kind of way (though, been there), but more like you’re… flat. Not sad. Not overwhelmed. Just moving through life on autopilot, checking boxes but not really feeling it.

If you’ve been there, you’re not alone.

I want to take you back to 2017. Portland, Oregon. The rain was relentless, the days felt like they blurred into one, and life was unraveling in ways I wasn’t ready for. My marriage was falling apart, and divorce was on the horizon. I felt like I was just existing—going through the motions but not truly living. Life felt like it was moving in slow motion.

Then one day, I came across a quote:

It stopped me in my tracks. As awful as life felt at the moment, was I actually making each day count? Or was I just waiting for some undefined better time to start living fully?

Sure, my life felt like it was over as I watched it shatter into pieces.

I posted about it on Instagram:

"Rainy days are part of Portland's charm, but sometimes they bring a case of the Mondays… even on a Thursday. Feeling stuck?

Our bodies naturally seek the easy route, and so do our minds. But living passively defeats the purpose. Falling into a rut happens, but the challenge is pulling yourself out—tapping in mentally, being present in your work, focusing on your goals, engaging in conversations, and embracing each moment.

It’s easy to get caught up, just as it’s easy to feel stuck. Let’s choose neither. Instead, let’s show up fully.

You are your best investment. Make today count."

That moment made me realize something: I was waiting. For clarity, for a sign, for motivation, for an answer, for something to snap me out of it. As if waiting for permission to someone to say that it was okay to choose me, to choose happiness, to choose a different path than my former partner. But I had it backwards. I needed to create momentum, not wait for it.

And that’s where today’s newsletter comes in. If you’re feeling stuck, there’s one simple question that can help you break out of it.

When everything feels meh, ask yourself this:

What would I do if I felt excited right now?

Not “What should I do?” (because we already know that list is endless). Not “Why do I feel this way?” (because overanalyzing just keeps us stuck).

Instead, this question shifts your brain out of problem-mode and into possibility-mode. It forces curiosity. It assumes excitement is an option—even if you don’t feel it yet.

🎯 Why It Works: According to science, not just vibes, your brain is wired for efficiency. It loves routines, even when those routines make you feel blah. The more you repeat a pattern—scrolling in bed, procrastinating, avoiding workouts—the more your brain reinforces it.

But here’s the hack: The brain also loves novelty and forward motion. When you shift from passivity (ugh, I feel stuck) to curiosity (hmm, what would make me feel engaged?), you break the autopilot cycle.

Next time you feel stuck, pull out a journal, open a Notes app, or just pause for a second and ask:

➡️ What would I do right now if I felt excited?

Then write down the first three things that pop into your head—big or small, ridiculous or practical. No overthinking. Just gut reactions.

Maybe it’s:
✔️ Go for a quick walk with a podcast.
✔️ Text that friend you’ve been meaning to catch up with.
✔️ Sign up for that class you keep talking about.
✔️ Change your workspace.
✔️ Book a weekend trip (even if it’s just a dream list for now).

Then—and this is key—do one of those things immediately. Not later, not when you "have time," but right now. This tiny action interrupts your rut and signals to your brain, We’re moving forward now.

Momentum starts with one small shift. Let’s make it happen. 🔥

This hits extra hard for me right now because, in just over a week, I turn 39. My final year of my 30s. Where did this decade go?

If I’m being honest, I’ve had moments of feeling like I’m behind—on life, on goals, on things I thought I’d have figured out by now on the personal life timeline. But then I remember: time is only a problem if we treat it like one.

Instead of asking, Is it too late?, I’ve been asking myself: What would I do if I felt excited about this next chapter?

And suddenly, the pressure shifts. It’s not east, but a constant exercise.The timeline doesn’t control me—I control how I show up for it.

So here’s what I want you to do:

1️⃣ Take 2 minutes right now.
2️⃣ Ask yourself: What would I do if I felt excited right now?
3️⃣ Write down three things.
4️⃣ Do one of them today. Not next week. Not next month. Today.

Your spark isn’t lost. It’s just buried under routine. Let’s shake things up.

Let me know—what’s one thing you’re doing today to reignite your drive? Reply and tell me. I read every response.

If you need more inspiration about creating a meaningful life, check out Make With James. It’s a newsletter I’ve been enjoying lately that’s shared insights and life hacks.

When life felt like it was unraveling in 2017, I turned to words—because sometimes, when you don’t know what to do, you need a new perspective to shake things loose. These five books weren’t just great reads; they became guideposts, reminding me how to sit with discomfort, reframe my thinking, and ultimately, move forward. If you’re in a season of change (or just need a mental reset), these might just do the trick.

A love letter to solitude, nature, and simplifying life. Walden helped me see that clarity doesn’t come from doing more, but from being more present. In a time when everything felt chaotic, this book reminded me that sometimes the answer is stripping things back to the essentials. Buy on Amazon | Listen on Audible

This poetry collection hit like a gut punch—in the best way. It’s raw, honest, and beautifully captures heartbreak, healing, and self-worth. At a time when my emotions were all over the place, these short, powerful poems made me feel seen, understood, and a little less alone. Buy on Amazon | Listen on Audible

I’ll be honest: I wasn’t fully ready for this book when I first picked it up in 2008. But in early 2018, I re-read it, and once I actually sat with it, it changed everything. Tolle’s message? The past and future don’t exist—only this moment does. Learning how to ground myself in the present helped me stop spiraling over things I couldn’t control. Buy on Amazon | Listen on Audible

This book was a game-changer. It’s like having a wise best friend tell you the hard truths you need to hear but in a way that makes you feel empowered, not judged. Every chapter gave me something new to think about—perspective shifts that helped me reframe my situation and realize that growth comes from discomfort. And, as woo-woo as it sounds, it’s okay to feel the feels. Buy on Amazon | Listen on Audible

Alan Watts is one of those thinkers who can take the most complex ideas and make them click. This book is all about embracing change, letting go of rigid expectations, and recognizing that you’re already becoming—even when it doesn’t feel like it. It was the reminder I needed that uncertainty isn’t something to fear; it’s where transformation happens. Buy on Amazon | Listen on Audible

If you’ve read any of these (or need a new book to shake things up), let me know—I’m always down for a good book swap. 📖🔥

Some final thoughts:

Feeling stuck isn’t a life sentence—it’s just a sign that something needs to shift. Whether it’s asking yourself the right question, picking up a book that challenges your perspective, or simply changing up your routine, momentum starts with small steps. You are your best investment—so take one action today, however small, to reignite that spark.

Make today count.

- Valerie

P.S. If this hit home for you, share this with a friend who might need it too.

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