Happiness is a Habit, Not a Goal

Happiness is a Habit, Not a Goal: How to Cultivate Daily Joy

We all know the feeling. That nagging sense that something is missing, the idea that once we get the next promotion, make that big move, or find the perfect partner, we’ll finally be happy. Happiness often seems like this distant destination we’re chasing—something we can reach if only we tick all the right boxes. But what if I told you that true happiness isn’t a goal at all? That instead, it’s a habit, something we practice and refine daily?

It sounds simple, but shifting from viewing happiness as a destination to seeing it as a practice can transform the way we experience life. It turns the pursuit of fleeting joy into a journey of deep, lasting contentment. The key is understanding that happiness isn’t something we achieve; it’s something we cultivate.

The Myth of "I'll Be Happy When..."

Many of us live in a perpetual state of "I'll be happy when…" 

“When I lose ten pounds.”

“When I can finally afford a bigger home.”

“When I find the right partner.”

“When I get that promotion.”

The problem with this mindset is that happiness becomes conditional—always tied to some future event or external circumstance. And what happens when we reach that milestone? The satisfaction is usually temporary, and soon enough, we’re off chasing the next thing.

I used to fall into this mindset myself. I had a thriving business, an active lifestyle, and a community of supportive friends. While I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, I still found myself feeling like something was missing. I was constantly setting new goals—once I reached them, I’d feel fulfilled for a short time, but then that familiar feeling of dissatisfaction would creep back in.

I remember hitting a particularly big goal: the launch of a new product line for my wellness business. The months of hard work, planning, and anticipation all came together beautifully, and the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Yet, after the initial excitement passed, I felt strangely hollow. And, even more so after hitting many roadblocks when it came to importing to Spain from the US; only to find out that the months of hard work basically set me back to starting all over again.

It was a moment of realization for me—chasing these external accomplishments was never going to lead to lasting happiness. It almost seemed as if I was chasing a high, only to be greeted with comedown.

That’s when I began to ask myself: What if happiness isn’t something we achieve at the end of a journey, but something we practice and nurture in our day-to-day lives?

It was only when I began shifting my perspective that I realized true happiness doesn’t lie in achieving a set of external circumstances but in how I approached my daily life.

Building Happiness Through Daily Habits

That shift in perspective changed everything for me. Instead of looking for happiness in some distant future, I started focusing on cultivating it through small, intentional habits in my everyday life. And over time, I learned that happiness doesn’t require grand gestures or major life changes—it’s often found in the simplest of things.

It’s in the moments of gratitude, the time spent with loved ones, the practice of self-awareness, and the mindful presence in everyday life. The act of simply being intentional.

Ask yourself:
- What do you want to achieve?
- What are you willing to do to achieve it?

Write it out:
“I intend to _____ in order to _____.”

1. Gratitude as a Foundation

One of the most powerful habits I’ve adopted is practicing gratitude, and it’s been a cornerstone in transforming my relationship with happiness. I used to think of gratitude as something I would experience after achieving something big—like launching a product or hitting a new business milestone. But I soon realized that gratitude isn’t just reserved for the “big wins”—it’s something we can feel every day, even in the most ordinary moments.

During one particularly stressful period in my life, I started a daily gratitude practice. It was simple: each morning, I would write down three things I was grateful for. Some days, it was something as small as enjoying a cup of coffee on my balcony in the early morning light. Other days, it was gratitude for my health, for my family, or for the freedom to live life on my own terms.

Over time, this daily practice of gratitude rewired my brain to focus more on what was going well, instead of obsessing over what wasn’t. Even on tough days, I could find at least one thing to be grateful for, and that small shift in perspective helped me stay grounded in joy, no matter what challenges I was facing.

Actionable Tip: Start a gratitude practice. Each day, write down three things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as a warm bed or a kind word from a stranger. This habit not only lifts your mood but shifts your focus to the abundance in your life, even when things feel tough.

2. The Importance of Meaningful Connection

Another key ingredient in the happiness equation? Connection.

As a wellnesspreneur, I often found myself caught up in the hustle of work, and I began to notice that the more I focused on hitting my professional goals, the more I drifted from the people who mattered most.

My relationships began to feel transactional, and I was so focused on “getting things done” that I wasn’t truly present with those around me.

It wasn’t until I faced burnout that I realized how much I had been neglecting my connections. I had built a life full of accomplishments, but without meaningful relationships, those achievements felt hollow.

I started making more time for the people who brought joy and meaning into my life—whether it was scheduling regular phone calls with my closest friends and family back in San Francisco or making space for deep, intentional conversations with my friends here in Madrid.

This change didn’t happen overnight, but the more I prioritized connection, the more I felt grounded in happiness. I learned that happiness is not a solo endeavor—it’s deeply intertwined with the relationships we nurture and the love we give and receive.

Actionable Tip: Reconnect with those who matter most. Whether it’s a quick text to a friend or a long conversation with a family member, make time for the people who lift you up. These moments of connection are fuel for lasting joy.

3. Cultivating Self-Awareness and Mindfulness

Lastly, self-awareness has been a vital practice in my journey to cultivating happiness. For a long time, I operated on autopilot, moving from task to task without much reflection. I believed that being productive would eventually make me happy. But in reality, I was just burning myself out.

It wasn’t until I started practicing mindfulness that I realized how disconnected I had become from my own needs and desires. Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean sitting in meditation for hours each day (though I do find meditation helpful); it can be as simple as pausing for a few minutes in the morning to check in with myself or taking a deep breath before responding to a stressful situation.

This practice of self-awareness has helped me become more in tune with my emotions, allowing me to navigate life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. It’s helped me understand that happiness doesn’t come from avoiding negative emotions, but from embracing the full spectrum of life—both the highs and the lows.

Actionable Tip: Incorporate mindfulness into your day. Start with small moments—like pausing before your morning coffee to check in with yourself or taking a few deep breaths when you feel stressed. Mindfulness helps bring you back to the present moment, where happiness truly resides.

The Long Game of Happiness

Happiness isn’t a finish line we cross or a goal we achieve. It’s a habit we cultivate every day through small, intentional practices. By embracing gratitude, deepening our connections with others, and cultivating self-awareness, we create a foundation for lasting joy that can withstand life’s inevitable challenges.

Looking back, I realize that the happiest moments in my life weren’t tied to major accomplishments, but to the quiet, everyday practices that brought me peace and fulfillment. Happiness is within all of us—waiting to be nurtured, celebrated, and lived each day.

So next time you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll be happy when…”—pause, breathe, and ask yourself how you can find happiness today. Because the truth is, happiness isn’t somewhere out there in the future—it’s right here, waiting for you in the present moment.

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✨ Transform Your Week: Essential Wellness Resources for Mind and Body Balance

I'm thrilled to share a handpicked collection of resources to give your mind and body the boost they need this week. Whether you're looking to enhance your physical fitness, nourish your body, or cultivate a more positive mindset, these tools offer something for everyone.

By integrating these resources into your week, you'll feel more energized, centered, and ready to tackle your goals with renewed vigor.

1. Pvolve Functional Movement Method

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2. The Five Minute Journal

If you're looking to boost positivity, reduce anxiety, and improve well-being, The Five Minute Journal is your answer. Spend just five minutes a day practicing gratitude and watch your life transform.

• Boost Positivity: Cultivate an optimistic outlook, proven to enhance mental health.

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4. Masterclass with James Clear

Learn to make small habits that result in significant life changes with James Clear, the bestselling author of Atomic Habits. His masterclass is a game-changer for anyone looking to make progress toward their goals.

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Embarking on a wellness journey is all about taking small, consistent steps. The resources I've shared are tools designed to support and enhance your journey.

Remember, the most important change starts from within, and with the right guidance and resources, you're more than capable of achieving the mind and body wellness you desire. Keep moving forward, stay inspired, and don’t be afraid to embrace the new!

😌 What Exactly Can—and Can’t—Lymphatic Drainage Massages Do?

Our lymphatic vessels are designed to move fluid throughout the body, containing proteins, minerals, and white blood cells. When we contract our muscles, it creates pressure that helps this fluid flow.

However, if the lymphatic system is compromised—due to conditions like lymphedema, surgeries, chronic inflammation, or long periods of inactivity—excess fluid can build up, affecting the immune and circulatory systems.

Lymphatic drainage massages aim to improve fluid movement in the body, reducing buildup and enhancing blood circulation and immune function. Promising to reduce bloating, puffiness, and enhance definition, lymphatic drainage massage has long been part of the wellness scene.

Its popularity has surged recently, fueled by social media trends and endorsements from celebrities like Hailey Bieber, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Aniston.

What A Lymphatic Massage Can Do

In recent years, these massages have become popular for post-surgical recovery, especially after orthopedic and cosmetic surgeries like liposuction, breast implants, tummy tucks, and facelifts. These procedures can cause post-surgical swelling due to disruptions in the lymphatic vessels, which normally circulate fluid through the body.

Lymphatic massages are also sought for nonsurgical reasons, such as reducing inflammation linked to conditions like lupus, Lyme disease, rheumatoid arthritis, and digestive issues. Some people use them preventively to aid detoxification, improve circulation, and support immune health.

The Myths of Lymphatic Massages & Wright Management

However, when it comes to weight management, there is no evidence that lymphatic drainage massages directly help with fat loss. While they can alleviate bloating and reduce inflammation, they don’t "emulsify" fat to create a flat stomach. After the massage, the fluid is typically eliminated through urination, with many people noticing the need to use the bathroom shortly afterward.

How To Find A Lymphatic Massage Therapist

When seeking a lymphatic massage therapist, it's important to look for proper credentials, such as CLT (certified lymphedema therapist) or MLD (manual lymphatic drainage) certification. These professionals undergo specialized training to learn the correct techniques.

You can find qualified therapists through organizations like the Academy of Lymphatic Studies or the Norton School of Lymphatic Therapy. It’s also a good sign if the therapist is trained in the Vodder Method, the original technique for manual lymphatic drainage.

Have you tired a lymphatic massage?